I pretty easily fall into the trap of believing that my performance determines my worth. Which generally leads to a colossal fall. This week, that has been in the form of physical illness. Between a migraine (missed work Monday) and then a flu-like thing (missed work Wednesday), God has knocked me down. The mildly amusing part of it all is that I drug myself to work today for an observation first period by all the "regional managers" for the national program that I am a part of with my Computer Science class. I felt like a truck had run over me by the time class started. And yet, the evaluation and comments after class were all insanely positive, and were sent to all of my bosses and their bosses. So I end up with this really awesome performance review, when I am completely and entirely spent. All I could do was laugh. Not me... Not me at all...
It's a good reminder, really. My performance has nothing to do with my worth. And my abilities have nothing to do with my worth. It's not my strength. When I surrender what I have for what God has, and I find my worth in Him alone, He can use me.
"Here I empty myself to owe this world nothing and find everything in You" - surrender to Him... I can't promise that you will love your performance... but I can promise that it won't matter. Find your everything in Him.
The riches of this world will fade
The treasures of our God remain
Here I empty myself to owe this world
Nothing and find everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Take my life, a sacrifice
In You alone I’m satisfied
Here I empty myself to owe this world
Nothing and find everything in You
Everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Not my will, but Yours be done
Not my strength, but Yours alone
Nothing else, but You oh Lord
I find everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Monday, January 28, 2019
You Are Good - Jesse Jorgensen
God has a way of telling us what we're going to do in one of two ways. For me, most of the time, it is never "enough" information. I say "enough" in quotes because it is enough for me to be able to do what He is asking when He is asking it - it just isn't as much as I think I want or need. See, I'm a planner. I want to know exactly what is going to happen, when it's going happen, and how we're going to get there. I don't want to waver in the unknown. I don't want to wait for God to be ready to tell me what is coming. I'm pretty confident that God doesn't tell me because if he did I would run away screaming. I am still working on the "be not afraid" part of God's plans. But even knowing that, I still want to know... all the things.
Then, there are the days that God says "this is what is going to happen" and He goes so far as to change a name to reflect what's coming, long before it happens (Just ask Abraham - whose name means "father of many", yet he had no children for years...). He calls the things as though they were... and then He makes it so.
Either way, God is GOOD. He always has been. He always will be. And even when it seems impossible - because you have too much information or too little - we are to trust Him. To lean into Him.
What dreams has God given you? Has He given you an impossible task because you think you don't have enough information? Has he given you an impossible task because even with His information you don't think it's possible? God takes the heart of stone, and makes it new again. He's always working out His plan... even when we think it's impossible. Because He is the God of impossible things.
Lord, take my heart... bring it to life!
You call the things that aren't
as though they were and then You make them so
You're always working out your plan
You call the things that aren't
as though they were and then You make them so
Lord make it so within my heart
For You are good
You've always been
And I will trust You
Even when it seems impossible
For you are good
You've always been
And I will trust You, Lord
You take a heart of stone
You make it new, you make it new again
You're always turning death to life
You take the heart of stone
You make it new you make it new again
Lord take my heart bring it to life
Holy God, most holy God, my sovereign King
Holy God, most holy God, my sovereign King
Then, there are the days that God says "this is what is going to happen" and He goes so far as to change a name to reflect what's coming, long before it happens (Just ask Abraham - whose name means "father of many", yet he had no children for years...). He calls the things as though they were... and then He makes it so.
Either way, God is GOOD. He always has been. He always will be. And even when it seems impossible - because you have too much information or too little - we are to trust Him. To lean into Him.
What dreams has God given you? Has He given you an impossible task because you think you don't have enough information? Has he given you an impossible task because even with His information you don't think it's possible? God takes the heart of stone, and makes it new again. He's always working out His plan... even when we think it's impossible. Because He is the God of impossible things.
Lord, take my heart... bring it to life!
You call the things that aren't
as though they were and then You make them so
You're always working out your plan
You call the things that aren't
as though they were and then You make them so
Lord make it so within my heart
For You are good
You've always been
And I will trust You
Even when it seems impossible
For you are good
You've always been
And I will trust You, Lord
You take a heart of stone
You make it new, you make it new again
You're always turning death to life
You take the heart of stone
You make it new you make it new again
Lord take my heart bring it to life
Holy God, most holy God, my sovereign King
Holy God, most holy God, my sovereign King
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Found - Cory Emery
I have often joked about not praying that God would teach you patience because He'll generally do it - and you probably won't like how he does it. Generally I follow it up with "I did that, once..." Along with that, praying that God will break you is also dangerous - He'll do it!
I vividly remember the first time I truly felt "broken" for Jesus. I was 17, almost 18. I had spent the summer working at camp, learning how to use horses to share Jesus with kids, in a place that I had come as a camper for years. I had entered the summer thinking I knew it all. I had just graduated from high school, I was headed to a prestigious college, and I knew that camp inside out and backwards. And oh did God use that summer to break me. As a WIT (Wrangler in Training), we were each given a 10+ year old Arab brood mare that had never been ridden, and told that by the end of the summer we were going to ride them.
As we were "breaking" our horses, they taught us about how God does the same thing with us. We would run the horse in circles around the round pen for seemingly forever... until the horse would stop and turn in towards us. The horse learns that if it is with you, and doing what you ask, you let it stop - it can rest with you, catch its breath. Be at peace. But, when it disobeys, or turns away, you make it run... and run... and run... In the end you have a horse that will follow you with its nose glued to your shoulder because it learns that is the safest place to be. I remember the first time my horse followed me around the round pen without a lead line or halter. What a great feeling that was...
I spent a lot of time running that summer, before I learned to turn towards God and rest in Him. The final turning point found me sitting in the middle of the cow pasture with cow pies all around me bawling my eyes out that I was tired of running. I was tired of pretending. I was tired of faking it. And I was tired of trying to make it on my own. I felt a little bad for McCloud (my boss) because I'm pretty sure he had no idea what to do with a crying teenage girl (that he had just totally deservedly yelled at and sent over the edge) - but props to him, he left me alone and let me sort it out with God - because that's what I needed to do.
"Cause I have lost it all, But You found me Lord, My life has all run out, Now I breathe in Yours" - we have to come to the place where we have lost it all, where God has found us, and we can stop running our life, and find peace, resting, with our nose on God's shoulder - breathing in Him.
Pray for God to break you if you dare - because Found is so much better than lost. Walk with Him - follow Him - seek peace in Him. Stop running. Turn in. With Jesus is so much better than the alternatives.
My hands are weak
But You're strong in me
My knees are falling
And I'm falling at Your feet
My lips form words
But the sounds just wont come out
I need you now
Cause I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
My eyes were blind
But You opened them for me
My ears were deaf
But now I hear You perfectly
My legs were lame
But I'm leaping like a deer
And I'll praise You here
Cause I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
Yeah! I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
(you find me)
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
I breathe in Yours
I vividly remember the first time I truly felt "broken" for Jesus. I was 17, almost 18. I had spent the summer working at camp, learning how to use horses to share Jesus with kids, in a place that I had come as a camper for years. I had entered the summer thinking I knew it all. I had just graduated from high school, I was headed to a prestigious college, and I knew that camp inside out and backwards. And oh did God use that summer to break me. As a WIT (Wrangler in Training), we were each given a 10+ year old Arab brood mare that had never been ridden, and told that by the end of the summer we were going to ride them.
As we were "breaking" our horses, they taught us about how God does the same thing with us. We would run the horse in circles around the round pen for seemingly forever... until the horse would stop and turn in towards us. The horse learns that if it is with you, and doing what you ask, you let it stop - it can rest with you, catch its breath. Be at peace. But, when it disobeys, or turns away, you make it run... and run... and run... In the end you have a horse that will follow you with its nose glued to your shoulder because it learns that is the safest place to be. I remember the first time my horse followed me around the round pen without a lead line or halter. What a great feeling that was...
I spent a lot of time running that summer, before I learned to turn towards God and rest in Him. The final turning point found me sitting in the middle of the cow pasture with cow pies all around me bawling my eyes out that I was tired of running. I was tired of pretending. I was tired of faking it. And I was tired of trying to make it on my own. I felt a little bad for McCloud (my boss) because I'm pretty sure he had no idea what to do with a crying teenage girl (that he had just totally deservedly yelled at and sent over the edge) - but props to him, he left me alone and let me sort it out with God - because that's what I needed to do.
"Cause I have lost it all, But You found me Lord, My life has all run out, Now I breathe in Yours" - we have to come to the place where we have lost it all, where God has found us, and we can stop running our life, and find peace, resting, with our nose on God's shoulder - breathing in Him.
Pray for God to break you if you dare - because Found is so much better than lost. Walk with Him - follow Him - seek peace in Him. Stop running. Turn in. With Jesus is so much better than the alternatives.
My hands are weak
But You're strong in me
My knees are falling
And I'm falling at Your feet
My lips form words
But the sounds just wont come out
I need you now
Cause I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
My eyes were blind
But You opened them for me
My ears were deaf
But now I hear You perfectly
My legs were lame
But I'm leaping like a deer
And I'll praise You here
Cause I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
Yeah! I have lost it all
But You found me Lord
(you find me)
My life has all run out
Now I breathe in Yours
I breathe in Yours
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Passion - Hillsong
I've been blown away recently by the power of the blood of Jesus. Of just exactly what His sacrifice means for us, and what it has done to change who I am, what I get, and how what I deserve is changed into what I get because of who He is. "For Jesus' blood that sets us free means death to death and life for me." But not only that, but it means that we do not have to live in shame. Our debt is fully paid - there is no shame for what we have done. Romans 8:1 says "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" - not there is now some condemnation. I think it is really easy for me to live my life and apply the idea of no condemnation to others. I am a generally agreeable person, who enjoys believing the best about others. But I am quick to self blame. I am quick to tear myself down. I am quick to condemn myself. What a reminder that we are free from that.
"The cross that leaves no question of the measure of His love" - may you live in that space of "no question" - you are loved, you are forgiven, you are free!
The passion of our Saviour
The mercy of our God
The cross that leaves no question
Of the measure of His love
Our chains are gone
Our debt is paid
The cross has overthrown the grave
For Jesus' blood that sets us free
Means death to death
And life for me
The Innocent judged guilty
While the guilty one walks free
Death would be His portion
And our portion liberty
I give my whole life
To honour this love
By the Lamb who was slain
I'm forgiven
The sinner's Saviour
Crown Him forever
For the Lamb who was slain
He is risen
"The cross that leaves no question of the measure of His love" - may you live in that space of "no question" - you are loved, you are forgiven, you are free!
The passion of our Saviour
The mercy of our God
The cross that leaves no question
Of the measure of His love
Our chains are gone
Our debt is paid
The cross has overthrown the grave
For Jesus' blood that sets us free
Means death to death
And life for me
The Innocent judged guilty
While the guilty one walks free
Death would be His portion
And our portion liberty
I give my whole life
To honour this love
By the Lamb who was slain
I'm forgiven
The sinner's Saviour
Crown Him forever
For the Lamb who was slain
He is risen
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
More Like Jesus - Passion
It's sometimes dangerous to ask God to make you more like Jesus. Because that can often mean scary things for your future, and a painful cutting away of self. But as I realize how completely messed up I am, and how much I need Jesus to make me whole, and clean, and good, I realize that all I want is more - more of HIM. "If more of You, means less of me, take everything" - please Jesus, take it all. I want more of you and less of me, because "all of You is all I need - take everything." I pray that this song blesses you today, as you seek more of Jesus.
You came to the world You created
Trading Your crown for a cross
You willingly died
Your innocent life paid the cost
Counting Your status as nothing
The King of all kings came to serve
Washing my feet
Covering me with Your love
If more of You
Means less of me
Take everything
Yes, all of You
Is all I need
Take everything
You are my life and my treasure
The One that I can’t live without
Here at Your feet
My desires and dreams, I lay down
Here at Your feet
My desires and dreams, I lay down
Oh Lord
Change me like only You can
Here with my heart in Your hands
Father, I pray make me more like Jesus
This world
Is dying to know who You are
You’ve shown us the way to Your heart
Father, I pray make me more like Jesus
More like Jesus
More like Jesus
You came to the world You created
Trading Your crown for a cross
You willingly died
Your innocent life paid the cost
Counting Your status as nothing
The King of all kings came to serve
Washing my feet
Covering me with Your love
If more of You
Means less of me
Take everything
Yes, all of You
Is all I need
Take everything
You are my life and my treasure
The One that I can’t live without
Here at Your feet
My desires and dreams, I lay down
Here at Your feet
My desires and dreams, I lay down
Oh Lord
Change me like only You can
Here with my heart in Your hands
Father, I pray make me more like Jesus
This world
Is dying to know who You are
You’ve shown us the way to Your heart
Father, I pray make me more like Jesus
More like Jesus
More like Jesus
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Victory - Liberty Worship Collective
"No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us...No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37, 39
Today, we celebrate a new year. A new day. Another page on the calendar - the first in 2019. In many ways, it really is just another day... Having spent the last three days driving back and forth to the hospital where my sister and her adorable newborn triplets are, I have had a lot of time to think. It's really easy to let those thoughts turn negative. To get down on myself, or on life. To allow shame for things in the past to take over. It's also easy to make "resolutions" that I will be different this year. That I will do things differently. That I will change ____ bad habit. That I can do this. But the truth is that I can't. Because I am empty - and that is all I can bring, bowing down before God, and realize that HE is my victory. He is the reason we start every day over without shame. He is the reason a new page on the calendar is a fresh start. He is the reason we can be confident that we have already won this battle.
So, bring Him your empty heart - allow Him to pour into you. Find your victory in every season. Be steady in Him. And know that you aren't fighting alone, today, tomorrow, or any day.
An empty heart is all I have to bring
Pour into me I’m ready to receive
Find me here in my suffering
Find me here bowing at your feet
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Fill the void of what I couldn’t be
Show me that in you I am complete
Find me here in this broken place
Find me here calling on your name
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Who could change the words you’ve spoken
Who could ever stand against your name
There is none beside you, you are holy holy
Who could ever stand against your name
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Who could change the words you’ve spoken
Who could ever stand against your name
There is none beside you, you are holy holy
Who could ever stand against your name
Today, we celebrate a new year. A new day. Another page on the calendar - the first in 2019. In many ways, it really is just another day... Having spent the last three days driving back and forth to the hospital where my sister and her adorable newborn triplets are, I have had a lot of time to think. It's really easy to let those thoughts turn negative. To get down on myself, or on life. To allow shame for things in the past to take over. It's also easy to make "resolutions" that I will be different this year. That I will do things differently. That I will change ____ bad habit. That I can do this. But the truth is that I can't. Because I am empty - and that is all I can bring, bowing down before God, and realize that HE is my victory. He is the reason we start every day over without shame. He is the reason a new page on the calendar is a fresh start. He is the reason we can be confident that we have already won this battle.
So, bring Him your empty heart - allow Him to pour into you. Find your victory in every season. Be steady in Him. And know that you aren't fighting alone, today, tomorrow, or any day.
An empty heart is all I have to bring
Pour into me I’m ready to receive
Find me here in my suffering
Find me here bowing at your feet
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Fill the void of what I couldn’t be
Show me that in you I am complete
Find me here in this broken place
Find me here calling on your name
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Who could change the words you’ve spoken
Who could ever stand against your name
There is none beside you, you are holy holy
Who could ever stand against your name
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
You’re my victory strength in every season
You will steady me constant in the battle
You will fight for me standing on your promise
This I know you’re my victory
Who could change the words you’ve spoken
Who could ever stand against your name
There is none beside you, you are holy holy
Who could ever stand against your name
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