Jesus come now... no? How about now? or now?
This series of statements has become somewhat of a running joke for me, used fairly regularly over the last 18 months to express my exasperation with this world. So when a friend (actually, Jesse, whose cover is linked here) sent me this song a few weeks ago it came somewhat as a slap in the face. I should clarify that it wasn't sent to be a slap - it was sent because he figured I'd resonate with the line "Jesus today I'm so tired" as the school year was finishing up. He wasn't wrong.
Over the last several weeks while I waited (impatiently, I might add) for Jesse to cover this song I have had a lot of time to think about these lyrics. So I'll share just a few of the things that God has used in this song to convict me - otherwise we'll be here all day.
Thought 1: how often do I get stuck at the start of this line and forget about the "beautifully made" part. How easy it is to pick apart all of the broken, and forget that the world was made beautifully... wonderfully.
Thought 2: OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. At the time that I was sent this song my password on my computer was something along the lines of JesuscomeNOW! (I'm feeling very confident sharing that, because I promise it isn't my password on anything anymore) Patient was not a word you could use to describe my waiting for Jesus. But more than anything the line "Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days" has brought me a mission. I am here. Now. I am called to serve Jesus. Here. Now. And I have a role to play in fulfilling His dreams for these days. To act justly, to love mercy, to walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8). To love with compassion and abandon, all those around me. Whether that is in my classroom each day (I posted this line next to my desk as a reminder), my family, in the church, on the street, in the store... my job is to help fulfill His dreams.
Thought 3: I'm tired. There is no better way to describe how I crossed the finish line of this school year. I. Am. Tired. But - His music is what comes and inspires me. There were a lot of times this year where I contemplated the need to give up worship team. I just was lacking space in my schedule. And yet again and again I realized that for me to be healthy that includes a regular dose of music in my life. And the only thing forcing me to make time for that was worship team. And I realized that the prioritization required by leading worship was helping me stay connected to His inspiration.
Bonus thought: how scary is this line: "I'd give myself to be refined in this fire" - that's one of those prayers that you pray and then later say "wait wait wait maybe I didn't mean that". But it's still worth it. Jesus I give myself to be refined in this fire. Come for me, Jesus. Come for me.
