I'm all but gone
I knew going into this school year that burn out was going to be something I would have to actively work to avoid, and I was fairly certain it was going to come earlier than "normal" (for reference, March is a really long month... so is May... in the best of times). There's nothing normal about this school year as a teacher, or really any profession I'm told. School is just what I know. Teachers had a rough spring. And then for many of us we didn't really take a "summer break" - we went to trainings, we read blogs, we spent hours making bitmoji virtual classrooms (because they're cute, fun, give you more personality to the kids, and a stress reliever...but they're still work). Maybe we spent hours recording video to help get "ahead" before the school year started this fall. Whatever we did - many of us lost ourselves.
Ransom me from my captive, I’m all but gone
So stuck. So held hostage. The constant bings and pings and beeps that mean you have a new email. A new assignment to grade. A new parent to help. A new student with a question. And when everything is online, those bings and pings come at odd hours, and it is so easy to think that you should answer them right now because why not - the computer is here, and the student needs me. The expectation is that I help when they need help. The client comes first.
Ransom me from my captive, I’m all but gone
And I don’t know where I came from
So lost. Where did I come from? Where are you God?
Ransom me from my captive, I’m all but gone
And I don’t know where I came from
I’ve forgotten my home
As I get caught up in the negative emotions around me, the storyline of conflict, tensions, fear, the emotional climate of distrust, I find myself thirsty; I've forgotten my home. I've forgotten where the water comes from, who brings it, where to find it. I look for it on social media (newsflash: I haven't found it there), I look for it in the news. Lost, I forget where to turn to find living water.
The burning yearning thirst inside me craves knowing the one who will fill that hole. The one who will ease all the tensions, gives light to my feet and my path. The one who has called me His own. He is the only one who can bring that.
Protected by His blood He will guide me home.
Burn out is real. But. It's not forever. Our hearts burn out, yes, but in that we can find the reset button. Let your burn out drive you to realizing your need for Him. Rest in the protection of His blood. He will guide you home!
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