Have you ever heard a song that you are pretty sure was written about your life, but you don't even know the songwriter? That's definitely how I felt about this song this week when I heard it for the first time. There was this moment while listening that I had to check myself. Did I write this? Is she looking deep into my soul and just singing this song?
"For who will love her, if she doesn't shine?"
Anyone else out there feel like their worth and identity come from how others see them? That you have to look perfect to have value? To be lovable? That if people saw the cracks in you they would not find you worth being around? How hard have you worked to pull yourself out of that stuck place, only to find yourself more trapped than you were when you started?
I can't tell you how much of my life I have spent trying to make other people happy, to perform correctly so that I will be loved. My insatiable need to be needed has led me into so many horrible corners, so many places of depression.
I really like this song, because it is a good reminder of where I have been, but... I don't like that it doesn't offer an answer.
Because the reality is that you don't have to live in this place.
You are loved - no matter whether you shine or not.
So, I offer you this alternative final verse...
You see her sit alone
dwelling in guilt and shame
She turns to Your arms
Finds Your strength and no blame
Why did she wait so long?
"My child you are mine"
For you will love her
When she does not shine
You will love her
You will love her
You will love her
When she does not shine
She buries the problems
but they grow and bloom again
No one need see them
She will deftly pretend
Play her high cards
Best foot forward overtime
For who will love her
if she does not shine?
Hopelessness dogs her
but she will not give in
She will reason fear away again
A full and leaky vessel
She hides the cracks behind
For who will love her
if she does not shine?
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her
If she does not shine?
She tries to pull herself
from difficult request
Works to be satisfied
with just doing her best
Till someone doubts her courage
and she struggles with resign
For who will love her
if she does not shine?
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her
If she does not shine?
She tries to pull herself
from rejections debris
And the more she pulls
the less she seems to be free
When did this all begin?
Was there one point in time?
And who will love her
If she does not shine?
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her? Shining
Who will love her
If she does not shine?
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