God Is Still Here - JJ Heller

A friend shared this song with me a couple weeks ago. At the time I don't think I really connected with it. But, the last week has brought me back to this song, and mix that with a book I've been reading and it's made me think a lot about how God is with us in our desert times.

In Genesis, God tells Adam he is free to eat from any tree, except one. That if he eats it he will die. Then, when the serpent approaches Eve, he twists it... "Did God really say you couldn't eat from any tree" - a lie... A twist of the truth, and a statement in the negative to rile us up. "No... It's only one tree... And if we eat it or even touch it we will die" - Eve has missed the point and already fallen into Satan's trap - because she has changed the command... If you touch it... And she had lost touch with the God who is with her always...

When we change God's commands we have set ourselves up for failure. Because when we touch it and live... We think God surely has lied to us. And what follows is an inevitable failure on our part.

"What if all my life I wrestle with my worry and anxiety? What if the thorn deep in my side is only there to help me see That though I never ask for it, the desert is God's gift to me?"

Sometimes God puts those thorns there to help us see our need. To help us reconnect with Him in a way we can't without the desert. Because it makes us thirsty to go back and hear the truth. To reconnect with the God who is with us and will never forsake us.

What if I forget the lyrics to the chorus of the song I wrote?
What if my daughter gets a fever while I'm out here on the road?
What if this kind of life I lead is damaging in ways I do not know?

What if I can never find a place where I can truly be myself?
What if I never chase my dreams and leave them sitting on the shelf?
What if I already missed my prime and get passed by for someone else?

What if the world doesn't end when the fears come true?
What if we have what we need to make it through?
There is manna from heaven and mercies new
What if God is still here in this desert too?

Every morning I am full of hope like Lazarus up from the grave
But by the time I fall in bed I'm burdened by a heavy weight
From picking up what isn't mine 'til I feel like there's no escape

What if I believed that God would meet me in my trouble and my pain
And all the truth that's in my head would move down to my heart and then
I shall not want for anything and finally be at peace again

What if the world doesn't end when the fears come true?
What if we have what we need to make it through?
There is manna from heaven and mercies new
What if God is still here in this desert too?

What if all my life I wrestle with my worry and anxiety?
What if the thorn deep in my side is only there to help me see
That though I never ask for it, the desert is God's gift to me?

What if the world doesn't end when the fears come true?
What if we have what we need to make it through?
There is manna from heaven and mercies new
What if God is still here in this desert?
God is still here in this desert too

O Holy Night - trumpet & organ duet

I love modern worship music. I love new versions of Christmas carols... But, I also LOVE good organ music.

In honor of Christmas today, I'm sharing a cool trumpet and organ duet of my favorite Christmas song: O Holy Night.

Enjoy! Merry Christmas!

White Christmas - Bing Crosby

Second Christmases suck.

What do I mean by that?

This is my second Christmas since my dad died, unexpectedly, two years ago next Saturday. Two years ago, he was here. He was healthier than I had seen him in years. We talked about him coming to see the kids more so they would remember him later, when he was gone. Two years ago we made cookies together, we laughed. We cried. He watched a Kelso basketball game and cried because of how great of students our girls are, not just great athletes. We had a blast. And my girls loved playing with their grandpa Ba.

Last year was the first Christmas without him.

I really thought it would be the hardest... But I had no idea. Last year I expected the grief. I knew opening stockings without him would be hard. That Christmas services without him would feel weird. That I would roll out German sour cream twists and cry at the memory of the year I made them with whole wheat flour and they were gross. And that he still wouldn't let my mom live down the year she made them with sourcream that had chives in them. I hear it was bad, but that was before I was born...

This year has run over me like a train.

I miss him in weird places. I want to call him and tell him the funny stories. To hear him harass me about terrible cooking disasters (raw chicken anyone?) from past Christmases. To hear him sing slightly off key silent night. To watch him watch the girls open presents. To have him "backseat drive" my way through rolling out cookies. To have him insist we drive somewhere to find snow so he can have his "white Christmas" that never ever happens on this side of the state.

I miss you dad. But don't worry. I'll make your cookies. I'll try not to get too many tears in the dough. And my kids will hear all about the stories so they can laugh and learn. And I'll tell them regularly about their awesome grandpa Ba who loved them so much. Don't worry. They'll still remember you.

And here's a "White Christmas" just for you...

O Come All Ye Faithful - Audrey Assad

As Christmas gets closer, I am drawn to the songs that are about coming to Jesus - and this is one of those. As we celebrate when God came to earth, to walk with us, it is good to remember that we are also to "come" - to the cross.

"O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord"

What does your life say that you adore?

May we joyfully and triumphantly come before the King of Angels, in adoration and celebration of the greatest gift of all!

He Made Me, He Loves Me - Ben & Noelle Kilgore

One of my favorite children's books is a Max Lucado book called "You Are Special." It's a book about wooden people (Wemmicks), who give each other stickers - dots for bad things and stars for good things. There's one Wemmick named Punchinello, who has a LOT of dots. And he sees a wemmick named Lucia who has no dots, and no stars. He asks how she got that way and she says it is because she goes and sees Eli, the woodcarver, every day. Curious, Punchinello follows Lucia's advice and goes to the woodcarver's hut. One of the last things Eli tells Punchinello during that visit is "Remember, I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

It's an obvious connection to our own lives, and our need to sit with our Maker each day. We need to sit in His truth, hear His voice, and be reminded of what he says over us: "I made you, I love you, and I don't make mistakes." It's easy to get distracted by what others think of us. To feel good when people praise us, and to feel trashed when we do something wrong. To find our identity in who others say we are. My daily prayer needs to be "God, help me see myself how you see me, as your creation, confident in who YOU have made me to be."


When it seems as if He’s hiding
I will wait with hope in Him
And even if He’s silent
I’ll wait, I’ll wait on Him

And though my heart is lonely
And longing for Your home
If Jesus is my portion
Forever I will know

He made me, He loves me
He knows all my story
I shall look upon His face by and by

Let not my heart be troubled
‘Cause He’s faithful and He’s true

Do not tell me
That wrapped in His glory
He hears not my voice when I cry

Return to me and hear my cry
Return to me and hear my cry
Return to me and hear my cry
Return to me and hear my cry

While You Were Sleeping - Casting Crowns

Speaking of convicting songs... here's one that gets me every time. What will we miss while we are sleeping? Will we go down in history as the city with no room for its King? Will we hear the shout in the night? Do we hear Jesus? Do we see Him? Do we really see Him? Are we even looking? We will celebrate his birthday in less than a week - but are we actually watching for His return? Or do we take for granted the gift he gave us and ignore the responsibilities that come with that gift?

Oh little town of Bethlehem
Looks like another silent night
Above your deep and dreamless sleep
A giant star lights up the sky
And while you're lying in the dark
There shines an everlasting light
For the King has left his throne
And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
For God became a man
And stepped into your world today
Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

Oh little town of Jerusalem
Looks like another silent night
The Father gave his only Son
The Way, The Truth, the Life had come
But there was no room for Him in the world he came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today
Jerusalem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

Prepare Him Room - Sovereign Grace

Funny story, I went looking for a different song (also called Prepare Him Room, find it here) that I like, and found this one on accident... But, I loved the challenge in this one, too, so I thought I would share it. Verse 3 says "Oh our hearts, as busy as Bethlehem, Hear Him knock, don't say there's no room in the inn" - and I think about how easy it is for me to say "I don't have time" or "I can't"... and while I am definitely working hard right now to enforce boundaries and say no when I need to, I need to be doing that with an express purpose: to prepare room for Jesus to enter in.

O behold, the mystery now unfolds
See the star shine on the virgin foretold
Angels sing and light up the sky
Hope rings out in a newborn’s cry
Swing wide, you ancient gates
For Christ is born today!

Prepare Him room
Prepare Him room
Let the King of glory enter in

God with us, the promise has come to be
This, the one the prophets were longing to see
In the darkness a blazing light
To the hungry the words of life
His kingdom now is near
For those with ears to hear

Oh, our hearts, as busy as Bethlehem
Hear Him knock, don’t say there’s no room in the inn
Through the cradle, cross, and grave
See the love of God displayed
Now He’s risen and He reigns
Praise the Name above all names!


 

Fragile Heart - Leanna Crawford

"It gets worse before it gets better"

I don't know how many times I have heard this sentence. How many times I have said it. How many different applications it has. From ice skating lessons (you're not learning unless you're falling, it gets worse before it gets better) to gymnastics (learning a new move would destroy something you had down)... training horses (wait, I swear yesterday you totally would wait for me and not run me over, why are you going backwards) to raising kids (man your attitude just keeps getting worse!)... marriage, friendships, relationship with God... depression... it gets worse before it gets better.

But maybe, really, it is just our perception. We can see where we are headed, and see where we've been, and we're more sensitive and aware of the struggles because we're less numb to the hurts, as we are on our healing process. "When a fragile heart finds healing hands, the places numbed by pain start to feel again" - my experience with this process has been that it hurts worse as the places that were numb start to feel again. Because as the anesthetic wears off (whatever you have been using to numb the pain) you actually feel the pain. And while in the long run, it is better to feel than to be numb, it hurts.

"I'm sure there will be lessons learned and purpose from the pain, but right now I don't even have the strength to turn the page." When I am raw and broken, the last thing I want to hear is "God has a plan... there's a purpose for this" - people say this trying to be helpful. But it just isn't. Later, when the page has already been turned, it is so helpful for me to look back and see where God has healed, where God has used the pain for a greater purpose. But at the time, it's good to remember that you don't have to have the strength to turn the page. "So hold on to me, Jesus, cause the more I feel you near me, these jagged lines from every break are slowly disappearing." Find space to rest in Jesus, and don't worry about what comes next.

I pray that this song can be an encouragement, wherever you are on your "it gets worse before it gets better" journey. That "all the tears turn into memories, and the chains, they fall down at [God's] feet" and that "What was broken, now is beautiful, what was ash, is now a miracle."




The worse of it is over now
The storm becomes the calm
The sun is slipping through the clouds
Showing me the damage done

To say that I've been beaten up
Doesn't even scratch the surface
I'm past the point of acting tough
We both know how deep my hurt is

I've heard that You're the God
That can restore what this world steals
Well, I'm in a thousand pieces
Would You show me how it feels

When a fragile heart finds healing hands
The places numbed by pain start to feel again
Where you fell apart becomes where you begin
When a fragile heart finds healing hands

I'm sure there will be lessons learned
And purpose from the pain
But right now I don't even have
The strength to turn the page

So hold on to me, Jesus
'Cause the more I feel You near me
These jagged lines from every break
Are slowly disappearing

When a fragile heart finds healing hands
The places numbed by pain start to feel again
Where you fell apart becomes where you begin
When a fragile heart finds healing hands

All the tears turn into memories
And the chains, they fall down at Your feet
Right here, is where
What was broken, now is beautiful
What was ash, is now a miracle

When a fragile heart finds healing hands
The places numbed by pain start to feel again
Where you fell apart becomes where you begin
When a fragile heart finds healing hands

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Mercy Me

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And thought how as the day had come
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head
"There is no peace on earth", I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead nor does He sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, goodwill to men

The third and fourth verses here are amazing. I can so identify with the sentiments of crying out in despair there is no peace on earth. That hate is strong - and mocks the idea of peace on earth and goodwill to men. It's so easy when we are overwhelmed by life, or feel like we are being dumped on, beat up, etc, to not see peace, to not feel at peace, to feel like hate is winning over peace.

And yet, when we continue listening to the bells, as they continue to ring out loud, we realize that God isn't dead. He isn't sleeping. In the end wrong will fail, right will win. Peace wins. What a comfort to know that no matter what is happening, peace wins.

PS - I wrote all of this before my husband told me the story behind this song. It's pretty cool, and worth checking out here.

Always Good - Justin Unger

For some reason for the last few weeks I have realized how drawn I am to songs about God's goodness... I probably could/should make a playlist of all of the "You are always good" type songs, because they apparently are what I need to hear right now. I love the lines in the bridge about how nothing can separate us from God's love. In the middle of whatever you are going through, good or bad, whether you are feeling "good" or "sinful", in the midst of whatever trial or struggle you are in, God is good, there is no end to His mercy. His love will not run dry, and NOTHING can separate you from His love.

You are always good
There is no end to your mercy
And your love will not run dry

Nothing can separate us
From your love Lord
Nothing can separate us
From your love
From your love

Somewhere In Your Silent Night - Casting Crowns

I'm a pretty "traditional" Christmas carol kinda person. I don't normally like new Christmas songs, I don't like listening to new songs, thanks, I'll stick to the ones I know... I've been trying to branch out, but I find myself gravitating to the ones I know. But sometimes one just jumps out at me (mostly because it is sandwiched between songs on an album and I end up "accidentally" listening to it).

This song speaks to me on a level I'm not sure I want to acknowledge. As I think back, I have had so many silent nights. Nights where my broken heart is crying, often without words, out for hope, for love... for someone to find me. The reassurance that in those silent nights heaven hears my cry. That love will come to find me in those hurting paces. "There is no distance the Prince of Peace won't go, from manger low to Calvary's hill, when your pain runs deep, His love runs deeper still." What a message. What a promise this is.

May you find peace, and hope, in the midst of your silent nights...

All is calm and all is bright
Everywhere but in your heart tonight
They're singing carols of joy and peace
But you feel too far gone and too far out of reach

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

From Heaven's height to manger low
There is no distance the Prince of Peace won't go
From manger low to Calvary's hill
When your pain runs deep, His love runs deeper still
He has always loved you, child
And He always will

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

Lift your head, lift your heart
Emmanuel will meet you where you are
He knows your hurt, He knows your name
And you're the very reason that He came

O Holy Night (revisit) - Jesse Jorgensen

A friend of mine has been recording new versions of classic Christmas carols... He recently did my all time favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night... "Christ is the Lord, Oh praise His name forever, His power and glory evermore proclaim... "

Here's what he said about the song:
"Lately, I've been recording new versions of old Christmas Songs! Here is "O Holy Night". You can get the chord chart and view more at www.jorgensenmusic.com This is one of my favorite Christmas carols. I love singing the line, 'chains shall he break....and in his name all oppression shall cease.' enjoy!"

 

What Child is This/Child of the Poor - The Hound + The Fox

I like "What Child is This" on its own. I think it's a pretty and fairly simple song. But this version adds a cool "child of the poor" other melody with it, and becomes this beautifully complex song. And an amazing reminder that Christs came to live with the lowly, sharing in their sorrows, and knowing their hunger. He knows us, He knows our condition. And He brings new life for the world!

Helpless and hungry, lowly afraid,
Wrapped in the chill of mid-winter
Comes now among us, born into poverty's embrace,
New life for the world

Who is this who lives with the lowly, Sharing their sorrows,
Knowing their hunger?
This is Christ, revealed to the world
In the eyes of a child, a child of the poor.

While I Wait - Lincoln Brewster

God has spent the last several months telling me to wait. I don't know what I am waiting for, but yet I am left waiting. What I love about this song (that I found on Sunday thanks to Spotify's discover weekly list, and have listened to approximately 100 times since then) is that it gives what we do while we wait: worship and trust.

While I wait, I will worship
Lord I'll worship Your name
While I wait, I will trust You
Lord, I'll trust You all the same

Angels We Have Heard on High - The Piano Guys

This arrangement and video is really cool.

Gloria in excelsis deo!

Reve Du Noel - Michael W Smith

Do you have a song that it "isn't Christmas until I hear this song"? I definitely do. It's from an old Christian Christmas collection album I got as a young teen - probably one of the first CDs I actually owned... I'm sure I got it from some music club membership where I forgot to send the "don't send this cd" form back - but this one ended up being the Christmas album for me. This is the first song off that album, and still to this day, I will listen to it immediately following Thanksgiving - because it means it's "Christmas season"!

Sing we now of Christmas
Sing we all Noel
Of our Lord and Savior
We the tidings tell

May our Christmas celebrations tell the news of Christ our Lord and Savior's birth!

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Jesse Jorgensen

Thanks to Jesse for sharing his music with us. This is not my favorite Christmas song, but I love the arrangement he did here mixing in "bring us joy" - something I need in abundance! A good reminder today. Chose joy!

Scars - I Am They

A friend sent me this song months ago now. I figure the fact that it hasn't really stopped wrecking me yet is probably a good sign.

Some people (me included) have physical scars that show how far they have come. Others, have emotional scars that they can "see."

As I think about the line in the first verse "Wouldn't trade it for anything, 'Cause my brokenness brought me to You, And these wounds are stories You'll use" I realize that I can spend a lot of days wondering what life would be like without those scars, but that they really are a part of me, and are the things that brought me to Jesus.

I remember my friend Aerika looking at my scars one night and saying "Wendy, God has a plan to use those..." and doubting. My faith was in a rough spot, I was really down on myself. I didn't think God could possibly use someone as broken as me. But truly, without those scars I wouldn't know God's heart. It has allowed me a glimpse into His love for me. And really - it's just an amazing reminder of how His scars have changed my life as well.

I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, in Your feet
I found my victory
I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, in Your feet
I found my victory

I'm thankful for Your scars
Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And with my life I'll tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful

O Holy Night - Josh Groban

Probably my favorite of the traditional Christmas songs is O Holy Night.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord!
Let ever ever praise Thee

Let us remember that we are praising GOD this Christmas, with all that we do!

I Believe - Natalie Grant

I know Wendy's Weekly Words is a Wednesday thing (because it illiterates so well!) But there aren't enough Wednesdays to cover all the awesome Christmas music! So... Bonus posts it is!

Today's song is probably one of my all time favorite Christmas songs... I love the way it tells the story of Christmas while foreshadowing Easter. I love the truth in the chorus:
I believe
The Wiseman saw
The baby boy the angels
Called the son of God
Heaven's child
The great I am
Born to take away my sins
Through nailed pierced hands
Emmanuel has come
I believe

Be Thou My Vision - Ascend the Hill

Be Thou My Vision has been one of my favorite hymns for a really really long time. "Thou my best thought by day or by night" is a constant reminder to me to keep my eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus, because those thoughts are the best.

The Ascend the Hill version adds an interesting new chorus:
Oh God be my everything
By my delight
Be Jesus my savior
My soul magnified
My Jesus, you satisfy

What a reminder that God is our everything, that only He can satisfy. This is the cry of my heart today... God, by my everything, be my delight... Help me to delight in You today, and everyday!

I Shall Not Want - Audrey Assad

There's a lot I want to say about this song, but not enough words in me to say it. So I'm going to let the words speak for themselves:

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood
And from a need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want
No I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness
I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness
I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
Oh and from the fear of death or trial
And from the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Yes deliver me O God

Come Like the Wind (revisited)

I posted this song a few weeks ago, because it hit me hard then. As I process through the horror that my friends in Chico and Paradise have watched and experienced in the last week, this song has struck me differently, and I wanted to try to sum that up.

 In this song we ask God to "Come like the wind, come like a fire, burn in our hearts, our one desire, we want to you know you God, we want to know you God."

 And I think I realized this week how DESTRUCTIVE fire can be. I think when I first sing this song, I thought "yaay, God - come burn a passion in me" but really, that also means "burn up all the ugliness that is inside of me"... burn to the GROUND my desires, my sin, anything that isn't God. That all that is left is wanting to know and be known by God. Fire fueled by wind leaves nothing behind. It tears through and leaves a trail of ashes, a vacancy.

 And I wonder - maybe that's the point. That God can burn everything up that we might be completely dependent on Him. Knowing Him. Being known by Him. And that while we still have all our "stuff" - our coping mechanisms, our sins, our desires... we're less dependent on Him.

So these words have new meaning to me today... new images of what they could look like are seared into my brain by the pictures I have seen of ashes where homes used to be. Prayers that God would bring beauty from the ashes, that we would depend on Him, that we would know and be known by Him.

Come Lord. Come. 

Boldly I Approach - Rend Collective

Today I have had this song firmly stuck in my head. But I love the meaning... because of what Jesus has done we can boldly approach the throne of God with confidence that our past is erased, that we are blameless. By grace we are allowed to stand in God's presence.

Allow yourself to be pulled into His arms by his nail-scarred hands!

Come Like the Wind - Jordan and Kristin Rippy

This morning I was reading about how Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to call down fire on their sacrifice (which totally failed), and then showed them up by asking God to do the same... and he did (big time). (1 Kings 18)

Then, on Spotify I heard this song from a fairly obscure band... But it says "come like the wind, come like a fire, burn in our hearts, our one desire, we wanna know You, God, we wanna know You, God."

That's my prayer today... come like the fire, we wanna know you, God.

Greater Things - Mack Brock

You never fail.
You never will.
I'll trust your name
For greater things

Deliver Us - Jesse Jorgensen

Let your word be the cure
For my wounded heart
Let your voice speak your life into these bones
May your light be my guide
Let my ears hear your voice
May my heart be so full of your life

Lord deliver us for your love is such that it always will endure
Lord reign in us for your peace is such that it calms the darkest storm

Into Dust - Mack Brock

It wasn't meant to be this way
Broken beneath the grief and pain
There's nothing left here

But into my dust You poured Your grace
Lifted my head and spoke my name
You'll see me through this

You are the maker of my heart
You are the healer of my scars
God, I will trust in who You are
You are good, You speak life into dust

I Am Found - Brad & Rebekah

No other calm
When my heart is anxious
No other hope
when everything's shaken
Only one love,
has welcomed me with arms swung wide.

God's presence surrounds you no matter where you are! Be found in Him

Over All I Know - Vertical Worship

I LOVE the truth behind this song... be reminded today that He is God over all - all your fears, every mountain, every sickness... He is bigger... I stand in Awe! Surround yourself with the truth of who He is!

Who You Say I Am - Hillsong Worship

Who are you? You are chosen, not forsaken, You ARE a child of God!

Closer - Charlie Hall

And the power of your words
Are filled with grace and mercy
Let them fall on my ears
And break my stony heart